I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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