Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
