I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
