matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Less talking, more tequila
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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