i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize