Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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