We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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