All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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