I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
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You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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