1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
