I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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