I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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