He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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