you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
