what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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