You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
