I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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