I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
