question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
