Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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