I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize