And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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