I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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