Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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