Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
