this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
