i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
