Old men and throwing up are my life now.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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