We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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