She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
