ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my being single is dangerous.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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