Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize