This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize