i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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