please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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