Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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