Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
