dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
