omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
