I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize