He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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