I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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