This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
