one two three fourrrrnication!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
sarcasm needs its own font
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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