Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
