let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
