I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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