When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
