oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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