Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
