wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize