That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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