yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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