Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
