I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
