she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay