Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing

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  (323): my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing http://tfl.nu/8j5t
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?

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  (919): Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/378f
  Replies (18) Good night (2063) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"

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  (310): i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto" http://tfl.nu/o359
  Replies (18) Good night (573) Bad night (4367) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week

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  (954): you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week http://tfl.nu/vx1e
  Replies (13) Good night (4806) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense

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  (703): I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense http://tfl.nu/aaqg
  Replies (20) Good night (7906) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.

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  (919): We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad. http://tfl.nu/rfuh
  Replies (25) Good night (2046) Bad night (6080) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside

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  (703): still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside http://tfl.nu/23it
  Replies (8) Good night (922) Bad night (3079) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  your facebook page is a work of drunk art.

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  (716): your facebook page is a work of drunk art. http://tfl.nu/2ehc
  Replies (3) Good night (3568) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously

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  (314): great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously http://tfl.nu/gl7l
  Replies (10) Good night (674) Bad night (2242) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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  (701): All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats. http://tfl.nu/27ky
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.

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  (951): I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement. http://tfl.nu/1khp
  Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (382)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it

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  (765): This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it http://tfl.nu/dka3
  Replies (7) Good night (420) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.

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  (+44): I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home. http://tfl.nu/i339
  Replies (3) Good night (1114) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!

  (818): View more from California

  Were you keeping a list?

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  (339): Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues! (818): Were you keeping a list? http://tfl.nu/r5wn
  Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (208)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.

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  (408): I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility. http://tfl.nu/5lhi
  Replies (1) Good night (223) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt

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