so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
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Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.