After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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