Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
